Always and Forever
by BluEyes
Summary: Life can change in an instant... *chapter 3 up*
1. Chapter 1

Always and Forever

Chapter 1

Yep, another fic. A drama fic. A Chandler fic. Oh, and slight, teeny, tiny season nine spoiler…so tiny that it hardly even counts as a spoiler…just a subject that they touched on that I took and ran with. But nothing too major. Well I guess there is kinda another thing…But on an entirely different subject, I've found 40 bucks within the last week…I found a $20 bill outside in the parking lot today…it was pretty wet and disgusting from the snow and stuff, but, hey, money's money, I'm not picky. Hmm…maybe I'll eventually find enough money to buy the characters…No? *sighs* well fine then, go ahead and pop my bubble. *pouts* Fine. They aren't mine. None of them. *sighs again* big bullies…not letting me have my moment…

Chandler stared out the cab window, watching the flakes of snow that had once again started to fall, creating a white blanket over the city. He sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned his forehead against the cool glass window.

He should have been there.

Ross, Rachel, Emma, and Monica had gone to Ross and Monica's parents' house for dinner. They were on the way home; the roads were icy. They hit a patch of black ice…

He should have been with them. But he hadn't been. He'd been in Tulsa. He'd been alone in his hotel room when he'd gotten the call, and then he'd been on the next flight to New York. But he'd been an entire plane ride away, half a continent away.

Taking a deep breath, he took out his wallet, not even realizing that he'd handed the cab driver a 50 dollar bill instead of a 20, mumbling for him to keep the change before he took off running toward the hospital door.

"Chandler!"

Chandler looked around frantically, hearing his name. "Chandler," Joey repeated, and Chandler looked in his direction, heading toward him as soon as he spotted him. Joey took a deep breath, tears in his eyes. "Ross and Rachel…" he started, his voice trembling, and he eventually trailed off, not able to actually say the words. "An-and they said that-that Monica might not make it through the night."

Chandler swallowed hard, looking up as he closed his eyes, trying to get a grasp on everything he'd found out in the past few hours. "Take me to her?" he finally whispered, and Joey nodded, leading Chandler to where she was.

"Chandler," Monica said weakly as he walked into the room.

"Hey, babe," he whispered, kissing her.

"I was so scared you weren't coming…They said you were, but I was afraid you weren't going to get here," Monica rambled, and Chandler just watched her. She hardly looked like his Monica. Not his strong tough Monica. She wasn't weak and frail, cuts and bruises all over, hair matted to her forehead with blood, hooked up to monitors and machines.

"I'm sorry," Chandler whispered. "I'm so sorry…I should've been there, too, and…"

"And what good would that have done?" she squeezed his hand as he took hers. "You'd be laying in some hospital bed, too?" Monica paused for a second. "The-they told me about Ross and Rachel…" she trailed off again, looking at him. "You couldn't be here, too…You have to take care of Emma."

Chandler shook his head, refusing to believe that he was losing her. "**We**. We have to take care of Emma," he said, voice shaky.

"Chandler," Monica said softly, and he met her eye. "You."

Chandler sniffled, trying his best not to break down crying. "I can't live without you, Mon," he whispered.

"You have to."

Chandler closed his eyes, so sure that the end of this nightmare was about to come, that the second would finally arrive when he would jolt upright in bed, leaving the horrible dream behind. "I love you so much," he looked at her, not taking his eyes from hers for a second. "So much…"

"I love you, too…"

Chandler wiped his eyes. "Does it-does it hurt?"

Monica shook her head. "Painkillers."

"Right," he nodded.

"I didn't get to talk to you last night," Monica said, her voice low and soft. "In the car, that's what I was thinking about…that I hadn't talked to you in over 24 hours…so I was gonna call you as soon as I got home…just to hear your voice," she paused, and for the first time, Chandler saw tears in her eyes. "And then, in the ambulance…on the way here…I heard them say something…something about not being sure that I'd even make it here…and all I could think was how scared I was that I was never going to get to see you again…get to tell you that I love you again…"

"I know that you love me," Chandler whispered, his crying preventing him from speaking any louder.

"I know," she whispered in return. "But I had to see you again…"

Chandler leaned down to kiss her, understanding what she was saying. She held on to say good bye. "You don't have to keep holding on if you don't want to," he finally whispered through his tears. "You can let go…"

Monica looked at him. "You have been my prince, you know that…my night in shining armor," she smiled at him. "My soulmate, my best friend…my lobster," she smiled again, and Chandler laughed. "I love you…" she took a deep breath. "Always and forever."

"I love you, too," he whispered back, knowing that she was saying good-bye. "Always and forever…" he trailed off, kissing her again before burying his head in her chest crying. He felt Monica squeeze his hand in return, a moment later, the muscles in her hand relaxing as the steady beeping of the heart monitor turned into a single buzz, and he was forced away from her as the doctors rushed in. He moved back in a daze, the whole scene surreal, slow moving, the buzz of the heart monitor ringing in his ears as he was forced out of the room. He closed his eyes, leaning back against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the ground, sobs overtaking his entire body.

Phoebe and Joey had gotten up as soon as they saw Chandler come out, but had stopped short when they saw him break down crying. They didn't have to ask him what had happened, if she was gone, too.

They already knew.

~*~

Chandler stared at the faint red glow of the digital clock. 3:43. Phoebe and Joey had insisted that he come home with them, Jack and Judy had even insisted that he go home, but he refused. And none of them had known just how stubborn Chandler could be, but he refused to leave.

Emma was fine. Knock on wood, she was fine. Chandler almost laughed. A hell of a lot of good knocking on wood did. They'd knocked on wood when they'd discussed what would happen if this situation were ever to occur…if both Ross and Rachel were to die…and if Monica were to die, too…A hell of a lot of good the knocking on wood did.

But Emma was fine. All three adults in the car were killed, but the seven-month-old baby was fine. Scratches and bruises, but scratches and bruises that would heal. No scars. And she wouldn't even remember the accident.

No scars.

But she also wouldn't remember her parents. Not at all.

__

No scars Chandler thought sarcastically.

They wanted to keep Emma overnight for observation, and he'd insisted on staying with her. He'd go in and out of sleep, but when he'd sleep, he'd dream of Monica, of the accident. Brakes squealing, glass shattering, blood…

He didn't want to sleep anymore.

He sighed, watching Emma sleep. She could sleep peacefully. No nightmares. No scars.

She looked like Rachel.

Chandler had many times thought of what his and Monica's kids would look like. A little girl with dark brown hair and Monica's bright blue eyes…a little boy with sandy brown hair, deep blue eyes…kids that were the best of both of them. No doubt stubborn and neurotic, but also the best of the two of them combined.

Chandler sighed, wiping his eyes. He was still half in denial. In his head, he knew that she was gone. But in his heart…in his heart, he still half hoped that this was just the worst dream he had ever had.

Emma started whimpering, and Chandler snapped back to reality.

"Hey, Emma," he whispered, letting her grab onto his hand when she started to reach out with her arms. He looked up as a nurse came into the room to check on her. "Can I pick her up?" he asked quietly, and she nodded.

"Just be gentle," she said softly before going back out the door, looking back at him with sympathetic eyes.

Chandler gently picked her up as her whimpering turned to crying. "Hey, shh," he whispered. "You know your mom and dad aren't here, don't you," he continued to whisper, trying to get her to calm down. "Well, life's a bitch, little girl," he looked down at her. "But tell ya what…you and me, Emma…always and forever," he said softly as she started to quiet down. "Us against the world," he laid her back down, sighing. "Though it's more like the world against us, isn't it," he sighed as he sat down in the hard plastic chair, bound and determined not to give in to the nightmare plagued sleep that he knew would come. But he eventually became powerless to fight it, completely drained, both physically and mentally, and he finally gave in and slept.

To

Be

Continued...

Please review and let me know what you think…I don't think this will be a very long series, four or five parts maybe. But anyway, let me know what you think…


	2. Chapter 2

Always and Forever

Chapter 2

Today is a sad, sad day…a starbucks went into the mall by us a few months ago and I guess they put the little coffee shop that has always been there since…forever out of business…and they closed today. Me and my friends went their last night for one last time, and all the people who worked in there were all sad and stuff…and there was sad music playing…*sniff*…so many memories…but I'll be alright…just give me time…But on a happy note, guess what? This is the 100th thing I've posted here, exciting, huh? Well, I thought it was. Thanks so much for the reviews. I think this fic was just begging to be written after that episode. And when Phoebe was like "now there's your movie" my thought was seriously "now there's your fanfic" so that review cracked me up. Though the best line had to be "well if I die, you don't get joey…" Oh, and, um, Catnamedzane, um, I'm assuming that you assumed that this was by SFGrl, so you can go ahead and hunt her down and kick her tush, that doesn't bother me any, lol. Or you can just look for me in San Francisco, but you're about half the country off from where I live, so good luck with that ;) 

"Are you sure you wanna go?" Phoebe asked, watching as Chandler packed.

"It's not like I really have a choice, Phoebs. It's my job," he sighed, turning to face her. "Besides, I talked to my boss, and it's only for two more months."

"Are you going to be okay?"

Chandler shrugged. "Better now that all those damn holidays are over," he half-smiled at her before looking around. "Seriously, how can someone so small have so much stuff?"

"You don't have to take her, you know. You can leave her with Jack and Judy," Phoebe said softly.

Chandler shook his head, looking at her. "I can do this," he said firmly.

"I'm not doubting you, Chandler. I'm just saying…if you need help, ask, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded.

"Okay," Phoebe smiled, picking up some of Emma's clothes to pack. "And on a completely different note, I slept with Joey."

"What? When?" he turned to face her once again.

Phoebe looked at him for a moment before answering. "Um, the night after Monica's funeral," she said quietly. "And just about every night since that," she finished with a smirk.

"So are you two serious?"

Phoebe shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, we haven't talked about it, really. We've just been…letting it happen."

Chandler smiled half-heartedly. "Yeah, I've been there."

Phoebe touched his arm. "Chandler…"

"I'm fine," he shrugged away from her touch.

"We just care about you."

Chandler sighed. "I know."

"And if you need anything, even just a hug, call and I'll be there in, like," she paused, thinking, "however long a flight from New York to Oklahoma is."

Chandler smiled. "Thanks. I really will be fine, though."

"You know, it's not quite as convincing after about ten million times as it was the first time."

"So it really was convincing the first time?" Chandler looked up.

"Eh, not really. But it's really not convincing after you keep saying it over and over again," she smiled at him, but he didn't smile back, so she leaned in to hug him, and he gladly accepted. "But I was serious. If you need anything then just call."

"I know. Thanks."

"And it'll get easier."

"So I've been told," Chandler said as he pulled away. They both looked over to where the baby monitor was as Emma had woken up and started to make noise. "I should go get her," he motioned toward the doorway, and Phoebe nodded as he started to leave the room.

Chandler paused in the doorway, turning to face her. "You don't just have to be like this to me. I mean, you lost three people who you cared about, too. You lost three of your best friends, too…"

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?"

"Chandler…"

"But what?" he repeated, knowing very well what the answer would be.

"But you lost Monica," she said softly.

"You lost Monica, too."

Phoebe looked at him, knowing very well that he really did understand what she meant. "Chandler…"

"I know," he said quietly, looking down. He took a deep breath. "And I know that I started this conversation, but I really don't feel like crying anymore right now, so," he paused, looking up at her before turning to go get Emma.

~*~

"C'mon, Emma, I have to get up in two hours," Chandler tried to get her to stop crying. They'd been in Tulsa for about a week, and she hadn't woken up crying until that night. He also knew that she had long been past the stage where she'd cry all night, though she had cried for the first few days after Ross and Rachel had died, wanting her parents. But over the past few weeks if she did cry, she'd usually stop when he picked her up. But tonight she was being stubborn. 

"What's wrong, huh?" he asked, and then noticed that her cheeks were flushed. He felt her forehead. "Shit," he said, immediately realizing that she had a fever.

Chandler went into the bathroom, holding a still crying Emma. "I know, I'm hurrying," he kissed her on top of the head. "Shit," he said once again, realizing that he didn't have any medicine for Emma. He sighed, looking at the clock, deciding that he'd better go find a convenience store that was open at four in the morning.

Going back into the bedroom, he put Emma down, pulling a pair of jeans on over his boxers and grabbing his coat. He put Emma's coat on as well, grabbing his wallet and keys before going out the door.

~*~

Chandler held Emma after she'd finally stopped crying and he'd given her some baby tylenol. "So what do you think, am I doing okay?" he paused, looking down at her. "I don't know why I keep expecting an answer," he felt her forehead. She was still warm, but not as hot as before. Chandler sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against the headboard. "God, I'm sorry if I screw up, you guys," he whispered out loud before turning his attention back to Emma, whose eyes were fluttering open and shut, as if she was fighting sleep. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before leaning back against the headboard again, giving in to sleep as well.

~Two years later~

"Okay, Emma, you just walk down the aisle now, okay?" Emma shook her head. Phoebe and Joey were getting married, and Emma was the flower girl. They were trying to get her to walk down the aisle at the rehearsal, but she was refusing to. 

"Please?" Phoebe crouched down next to her, but she shook her head again. Phoebe stood back up. "Chandler?" she said, motioning him to come over to them.

"She won't go down the aisle," they explained to him after he'd gotten over to them.

Chandler crouched down next to Emma. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly, but she just shook her head. "Can you walk down the aisle for Aunt Phoebe?" she shook her head again. "Um, can you walk down the aisle for me?" she shook her head once again. "Can you talk?" she shook her head once more, and he just laughed. "Um, tell you what. I'm gonna go stand down there," he motioned to the front of the church. "Can you just come to me?" she paused for a second before nodding. "Okay," he kissed her forehead before standing up. When he was halfway down the aisle, she ran after him. "Not yet, baby," he laughed, picking her up and carrying her back. "Wait till she tells you to go, okay?"

"Ohtay," she nodded.

"Okay," he smiled before turning to go back again.

~*~

"Hey, you," Phoebe sat down beside Chandler at the reception.

"Hey," he smiled in return.

"Dance with me," she grabbed him by the arm.

"Phoebs…"

"C'mon, Bing, it's my wedding day. Dance with me," she pulled him onto the dance floor.

"Fine," he sighed, reluctantly dancing with her.

"You okay?"

"Yep, great," he smiled.

"Chandler," she looked at him, and his smiled faded.

"It's just…" he started, but trailed off. "It's just…harder when you're happy, ya know?" he paused, laughing at himself. "Yeah, because that makes **so** much sense. It's harder when you're happy…" he sighed, taking his left hand from her, holding it up.

"What?"

Chandler sighed, dropping his hand. "I still wear my wedding ring," he looked up at her. "It's been over two years, and I still wear my wedding ring."

"So?"

"So…" he sighed in frustration. "So shouldn't I be moving on? I mean, shouldn't I have moved on by now?" Phoebe just looked at him, not knowing what to say to that. "See? I should have."

"No, Chandler, it's just," she paused, not sure exactly how to put it. "It doesn't quite work like that. You never really move on. You just…you learn to live with it. It gets easier…but you never completely move past it."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring you down, too. You're supposed to be happy today," he smiled at her.

"I am happy," she grinned in return. "But you don't think there's five people in the back of my head who I wish could be here?"

"Five?"

"Yeah. My mom, Monica, Ross, Rachel, and Bob," she counted on her fingers. 

Chandler just nodded, not about to ask about Bob. He looked up, watching Joey dancing with Emma. He was holding her and dancing, and she was giggling. Joey met his eye, coming over to where they were.

"I'll trade you," he looked at Chandler before grinning at Phoebe.

"Sure," he smiled, taking Emma from Joey, watching as Joey and Phoebe began slow dancing to the song that had just come on. Chandler looked down at Emma, her head resting against his chest, nearly asleep. He sat down, deciding that after that song he'd go tell Phoebe and Joey that they were leaving, but he didn't have the heart to interrupt them while they were still dancing. He remembered that feeling, having the look that both of them had on their faces.

"What you doing?" Emma's voice broke Chandler's thoughts.

"Thinking," he looked down at her.

"'Bout what?"

"About dancing," he replied honestly.

"I wanna dance."

"You wanna dance?" she nodded her head. "Then how 'bout we dance for one song, and then we go home."

"No," she immediately replied, and Chandler laughed. That was her reply to pretty much everything.

He stood up with her still in his arms, and knowing that she was tired, didn't even give it till the end of the song before she'd be asleep.

~*~

Chandler lay Emma down on her bed, trying not to wake her up as he undressed her and put her pajamas on.

"Night, Ems (teacherchez-you said ems in your review and I thought it was cute, hehe)," he whispered, kissing her forehead and covering her up with a blanket. He watched her for a moment before turning the light off, walking out of the room, but leaving the door open behind him.

Chandler headed toward the bathroom, leaving that door open a crack as well. He sighed, looking at his reflection in the mirror. Turning on the faucet, he splashed a stream of cool water over his face, pulling the hand towel down that was hanging next to the sink. Glancing in the mirror as he dried his face off, one thing again caught his eye.

His wedding ring.

Chandler paused, looking at the reflection in the mirror. He set the towel down, looking down at his hand. He twisted the band around his finger a few times, finally slipping it off.

Walking out of the bathroom, he went into his bedroom, sitting down on the bed, still staring at the gold band in his hand. He looked up, sighing as he looked around. He hadn't had the heart to move, so he still lived in the same apartment that he'd shared with Monica. At first, he didn't think that he was strong enough to stay there, to stay where there were so many memories still lingering. But then he'd realized that he wasn't strong enough to leave, strong enough to leave it all behind.

He stared at the ring. He didn't have the heart to leave it all behind.

Finally, he stood up, going over to the dresser, pulling out Monica's jewelry box. He opened the lid, hesitating, not sure whether he could do it or not.

His friends had told him that that's what she would have wanted, for him to move on, to be happy.

Chandler bit his bottom lip, taking a deep breath before finally dropping the ring into the box.

~about three years later~

Chandler stood anxiously with the rest of the kindergartners' parents, waiting to pick them up after their first day of school.

"Chandler?" Chandler turned around, hearing his name.

"Oh my god, Kathy, hi," he smiled at her. "So how've you been?"

"Good, you?"

"Good," he nodded, neither of them really knowing what to say next, and they didn't have to try for long as the kids started coming out.

"Look, it was nice seeing you again. Um, do you want to get together sometime…like, coffee or something…and catch up?"

"That'd be nice," Chandler smiled, genuinely happy to accept her invitation. He'd moved up state a few months earlier and didn't really know that many people, so he was glad for the company of someone who he did know.

"Okay, um," she dug through her purse, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. "Here's my number."

"Mommy!"

"Hey, Lauren. How was your first day of school," she smiled at her daughter, who had come running over.

"Good."

"What'd you do?" she asked, waving at Chandler as they walked away.

Chandler waved back before looking back to the doors, waiting for Emma. She walked out the door, looking around, smiling when she saw him.

"Hey, baby, how was your day?" he smiled at her as she walked over to him.

"Good," she smiled back.

"What'd you do?"

"We got to drawl a picture, and the teacher read us a book, and then we got a snack," she started rambling off the day's events, taking Chandler's hand as they walked to the car.

~*~

"So Lauren's father just…left, and I haven't heard from him since. I think it's actually probably better that way," Kathy finished. "So, um, where's Emma's mom?"

Chandler laughed. "**That** question opens up a can of worms…"

"I'm sorry, would you rather not talk about it?"

"No," he said hesitantly. "I mean, no, of course not," he paused, trying to decide how to begin. "Well, Emma's actually my niece…"

"So you married Monica," Kathy nodded.

"Surprising?"

"Not at all," she smiled. "But you're…doing okay?" she asked, more seriously.

"Yeah, I guess," he paused, thinking. "I mean, I kind of have to. And it was…almost five years ago," he paused, shaking his head. "God, I can't believe it's been five years. I mean, in a way I can…because it was…**hell** for the longest time. But someone told me that you don't always move one…but you do keep going. And…you don't exactly take it in stride, but you learn to live with it, to keep going, no matter what you're carrying with you…"

"How long's it been, ten years?"

"How long since what?"

"Since you and me…about ten years?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Chandler Bing, you grew up.

"Yeah, imagine that," he smiled at her.

"And speaking of that…I'm sorry about back then, about…"

Chandler shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I mean, it all seems so, I don't know, almost trivial now, you know?"

Kathy nodded, "Yeah."

"Um, sorry to interrupt, but we're closing," a waitress came over to Kathy and Chandler's table.

"Sorry," they both answered in unison.

"No problem," the girl smiled at them before walking away to clear off another table.

"This was…fun," Chandler said as they walked out to their cars.

"Yeah, it was," Kathy smiled, stopping when they got to her car.

"We should do it again sometime."

"Yeah," she looked up at him. "Call me," she gave him a quick kiss on the lips, barely longer than would be considered friendly, before getting into her car. "Bye, Chandler."

Chandler stared after her. "Bye," he watched as she drove off, waving at her before walking to his own car, her kiss still lingering on his lips.

~*~

"Was she good?" Chandler asked the babysitter as he took his wallet out.

"Yeah, she went right to bed and everything."

"Good," he smiled at her before handing her the money. "Thanks, Kristin."

"Any time," she smiled back. "Bye."

"Bye," he replied as she left.

Chandler smiled; it'd been a long time since he'd felt even close to this happy. It's been a long time since he'd felt…anything for anyone. Phoebe and Joey, and even a few of his friends from work had tried to set him up with people in the past few years, but they didn't work out. And truthfully, he hadn't been ready for them to work out; he hadn't wanted them to.

Chandler sighed. He still wanted to feel guilty. And it still did hurt.

Glancing up at the clock, he realized that it was later than he'd thought. He and Kathy had talked for hours, for much longer than he'd intended on. He decided just to go to bed, the night's event's playing hi his mind. Chandler checked on Emma before going into his room and going to bed. Be he still couldn't sleep. His mind was racing, wondering what had just happened.

Emma came in, nearly in tears, interrupting his thoughts.

"What's wrong, Ems?"

"I had a bad dream," she said, running over and climbing into bed next to him.

"It's okay, it was just a dream," he said softly, wiping her tears away.

When she had been quiet for a while, he assumed that she was asleep, and reached to turn the lamp off.

"Do you love me?" Emma asked, and Chandler smiled. He wasn't sure what had started her insecurity or what had made her start asking that, but she'd ask that every night. Even if he had said that he loved her two seconds earlier, she would still ask every night. And he would always give her the same answer.

Chandler leaned down, kissing her forehead. "Always and forever."

To

Be

Continued…

Okay, that was so incredibly long, I'm so proud of me…and I know it covered a lot of time, but I'm just trying to fast forward and wanted to show a few things before I get to where I'm going…so this was kind of a filler chapter. Oh, and I am working on the next part of Butterfly Kisses, I really am, and if anyone would like to do my precalc homework, read Huck Finn, and do my two chem projects I'll probably have it done in, like, a day. No takers? No? Okay, well I really am working on it, and I'm working on the next part of this, too. But for now, please review : ) 


	3. Chapter 3

Always and Forever

Chapter 3

I am so completely in, like, the *best* mood ever. And why am I in the best mood you may ask? Hello, have you looked outside? Granted you don't live where I do…but anyway, it is soooo nice out! It's spring-y! If that's even a word! It was negative temperatures a couple of days ago and today it's like 55…so it put me in a really good mood all day. Well, except for this assembly thing we had today…cuz the guy I like sat in front of me, so I'm like, sweet…and then his girlfriend comes over and puts her arm around him like 'he's mine'…so I'm like great…and then the girl who my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with somehow ends up sitting next to me…and…well that situation speaks for itself…we don't like each other all that much…but that was only an hour out of my day. The rest of my day was awesome. And you're welcome for sharing…feel free to tell me how your day was, too, lol. Oh, and there's a line in here that I stole from a movie…tell me what and I'll give you…I'll give you a, um, a hug!

Emma opened the door quickly, knowing that if she opened it slowly it would creak.

"Don't step on the squeaky floorboard in the hallway, either," Chandler said, causing Emma to jump. "Seriously, Emma, this gets old." She ignored him, walking past where he was standing and heading up the stairs. "It's either now or in the morning," Chandler yelled after her. "Though I'm pretty sure it's technically already morning. And considering the fact that you'll probably have a hangover to sleep off, I probably won't see you till afternoon, so…"

Emma stopped, turning back to face him. "I'm not drunk."

"Well, not tonight," he said, and Emma rolled her eyes, turning back around. "Seriously, why do you even bother coming home by curfew just to sneak out again? Why not just not come home until now, save yourself the trip?"

"Fine, Chandler, I won't come home till now tomorrow night," she called back over her shoulder.

"I'm not done."

Emma sighed, stopping once again. "What?"

"Where the hell were you?"

"What do you care anyway?" she yelled back.

"Were you at Kyle's?"

"So what if I was?" she challenged, folding her arms across her chest.

"Would you stop answering questions with questions," he looked her in the eye, and she looked down.

"Yes, I was at Kyle's," she mumbled.

"Emma-"

"What?" she looked back up. "Why can't I see him?"

"Because he's 21!"

"So?"

"So you're 17!"

"I'll be 18 in a month!"

"There's only one thing college guys want from high school girls."

"Well maybe he's different!"

"You really think that?"

"Yes!"

"Emma-"

"What?" she cut him off. "Stop treating me like a little kid! I'm not a child!"

"You're **my **child!"

Emma paused, looking him in the eye. "No, I'm not," she said slowly before going upstairs to her bedroom, knowing very well that she'd hurt him

Chandler sighed, closing his eyes. She knew what to do to make him mad, and she knew what to say to hurt him. And he hadn't missed the fact that she'd called him Chandler. She would go back and forth between 'Dad' and 'Chandler.' And it was always 'Chandler' when she was mad at him. (AN~ good job if you caught in the first one that I didn't have her call him either dad or chandler…I did that on purpose. And you have no idea how hard it was for me to have her not say either one to him, lol)

He wanted to give up on her. He wanted to give in, tell her that she'd hurt him, that she'd won. But he couldn't. He hadn't given up on her for the past 17 years and he wasn't about to start now. And he couldn't just give up on her. He already felt that he'd somewhat failed Ross and Rachel. He felt like he must've somehow screwed her up, and that all of this was his fault.

Chandler sighed once again as he heard her stereo come on and she turned it up all the way, knowing that that was just to piss him off as well.

__

"Daddy!"

"Emma? Honey, what's wrong?" Chandler asked as she came running into the house, crying. Seeing him, she immediately ran over and into his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Emma looked up at him, trying to stop sobbing. "I-I was arguing with Jack, and-and he said…he said that I was wrong and that I'm so annoying, an-and that my parents must've died because they didn't want to be around me anymore cause I'm so annoying," she said in between sobs. "Di-did they?"

"Oh, Emma, of course not," he brushed her hair out of her face before wiping the tears away.

"Did they love me?"

"More than anything," he smiled at her.

Emma paused for a second, thinking. "I don't want Jake to come to my birthday party next week anymore."

Chandler looked at her for a second, knowing that a six-year-old couldn't have possibly known the effects of his words on someone else, and knowing that they'd probably be friends again the next day anyway. "Well-" he was cut off by the doorbell ringing.

"I'll get it," Emma ran to answer the door, stopping after she'd opened the door and saw it was Jack.

"I'm sorry I made you cry," he said. "Do you wanna come play?"

Emma thought about it for a second. "Okay," she finally said, opening the screen door. "Bye, Daddy," she yelled as she ran off after Jack.

Chandler smiled, shaking his head as he watched her go. "Bye."

"Come on, Chandler, you have nothing to worry about," Joey took a bite out of his sandwich. "I mean, you remember what it was like to be 17."

"Yeah," he looked at him. "And you remember what it was like to be 21."

"True."

Chandler sighed, taking a bite out of his own sandwich. "But, hey, Melissa's 13, just wait," he grinned, referring to Joey and Phoebe's older daughter.

"Emma got accepted to NYU, right?"

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, and that's where Kyle goes, too," he said with mock enthusiasm.

"Hey, it could be worse," Joey offered. "I mean, at least she'll be close to home."

Chandler sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

__

"Why can't I go?"

"Because you're 13!"

"So?"

"So you can not go to a concert **alone** in New York City!"

"But Mikala's and Jessie's parents are letting them go!"

"Good for Mikala and Jessie," he paused. "But you can't go."

"Why not?"

Chandler sighed. "Emma, I'm not arguing with you."

"Why not?" she demanded again, and it was times like this when he could tell she was Ross's daughter.

"Because I said no."

"That's not a reason!"

"Yes, it is."

"I hate you!" she screamed at him before running up to her bedroom, slamming her door shut behind her.

~*~

Chandler sighed, looking around Emma's empty bedroom. She'd gone anyway. He'd said no, and she'd gone anyway.

He turned, walking out of the room and down the stairs. He walked past the calendar and tore it down, wishing to god that he could just forget what day it was, wishing that he hadn't remembered.

But he had.

~*~

Chandler knelt down and placed two red roses and two yellow roses on the gravestone. He sighed, staring at the letters, at the date. April 1970-December 2002. He then looked up at the clear blue sky. 

'The same color as her eyes,' he thought before looking back down. "Happy Anniversary, Mon," he mumbled. It had taken him months before he'd come there the first time, but Phoebe and Joey had eventually convinced him to.

"Dad?" Chandler looked up as Emma came over, sitting down on the grass next to hi.

"Not going to the concert?" She shook her head, playing with a piece of grass. "Why'd you come here?"

Emma looked up at him, and then smiled. "I'm not quite as self-centered as you think," she paused. "I know what today is," she put the blade of grass between her thumbs, blowing on it, but not able to make it make any noise.

"Use a thicker piece of grass," Chandler said, watching her. She picked a piece of grass, grinning when it worked. 

She turned her attention back to Chandler, who was once again staring at Monica's grave.

"Tell me about Monica."

"What?" Chandler looked up at her.

"You talk about my parents, but you never really talk about Monica," she paused. "Tell me about Monica."

Chandler took a deep breath. "God, where do I even start," he paused before smiling. "She was my best friend…"

Chandler sighed, looking up at the clock. He hadn't expected her actually not to come home by curfew and then sneak out again like she had been doing. And he really hadn't expected her not to be home by 4:30. Chandler sighed again, not knowing what to do. He could ground her when she finally did come home, but it wasn't like it'd do any good. She'd just sneak put the next night anyway. And she was right, she was almost 18.

Chandler's head snapped up at the sound of the door opening, and he stood up, walking into the hallway. Emma closed the door slowly, letting it creak shut as she met his eye. They stood there for a few minutes in a deadlock stare, neither one saying a word.

Emma finally sighed, breaking the eye contact and walking past him.

"Where the hell were you?"

"Where do you think I was?" she answered, and Chandler sighed. "And you're the one who told me not to bother coming home if I was just going to sneak out again anyway," she gave him a cocky smile, starting again before he could say anything. "And it doesn't really matter what you think, because in 32 days you can't stop me from seeing Kyle."

"Well then I still have a say in it for the next 32 days," he challenged back. "And as long as you're living here, it's still my rules."

"Fine. I won't live here, then," she turned to go upstairs.

"What?"

Emma turned back to face him. "Kyle asked me to marry him." Chandler scoffed. "What?"

"You're 17 and naïve," he looked at her, laughing.

"You're 50 and jaded," she shot back, hurt that he wasn't taking her seriously.

Chandler sighed, running his hand through his hair. What he'd give to be 17 and naïve…

"Besides, I'll be 18. You can't stop me," she once again started to leave.

"I'm not gonna stop you," Chandler said, and she turned back to face him. "I am going to tell you to wait, though. Just…don't run off and get married right away just to piss me off."

"I'm not doing it just to piss you off."

"Then wait. Give it time…" Chandler trailed off, resisting the urge he had to tell her not to be like her dad and rush into it, and then be divorced three times before she was 30. But it wasn't like she was going to listen anyway. She was 17. And in love. 30 was still an eternity away.

"Okay," she finally said, pausing to watch him. "Um, Dad?" she said after a minute.

So it was back to 'Dad.' 

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry…about last night…and tonight…and…everything…" she said slowly. "And, um, even if we don't wait…If we get married this summer…would you still give me away?"

Chandler couldn't help but smile. "Of course."

Emma smiled back, turning once more to go up to bed. "Dad?" she turned back around.

"Hm?"

"Do you love me?"

Chandler grinned, almost wanted to cry at the question she had grown out of asking years before, and he hadn't even been sure if she remembered that phase. He walked over to where she was standing at the bottom of the staircase, pulling her into his arms in a hug. "Always and forever."

"Love you, too."

"You do realize that it is almost five in the morning," he pulled back. "And that you are still going to be getting up in two hours to go to school."

"Dad-"

"Hey, you think you're all grown up, fine. You made the decision to stay out late, you deal with the consequences."

"But that's not fair," she whined.

"Life's a bitch, little girl," he kissed her forehead as he walked by. "Night, Ems."

"Goodnight," she mumbled walking up the stairs. "And there's no way in hell I'm going to school today."

Umm…so do you want me to keep going? I'm not sure that I like this…it's not where I was originally gonna go with this, but I didn't like my original idea, either. And catnamedzane-I honestly don't like the premise of this either, lol. But anyway, let me know if you want me to keep going, I'm really not sure if I should…


End file.
